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The opinions of the employees of s You are personal.
This is an extract from the classic bestseller, The 7 habits of very effective peopleand was edited for brevity. Habit 4 deals with many trading approaches and why one strategy stands out from the others. Simon and Schuster will publish the 30th anniversary edition of the late author’s famous book next month.
Win / Win is a mental and cardiac framework that constantly strives for mutual benefit in all human interactions. This means that the agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and mutually satisfactory.
With a win / win solution, all parties feel comfortable with the decision and are committed to the action plan. Winning / winning sees life as a cooperative, not as a competitive arena. Most people tend to think in dichotomies: strong or weak, Hardball or soft ball, win or lose.
But this way of thinking is fundamentally flawed. It is based on power and position rather than principles. Win / Win is based on the paradigm that there is a lot for everyone that one person’s success is not achieved at the expense or to the exclusion of the success of others.
Winning is a belief in the third alternative. It is not your way or mine; It is a better way, a higher way.
Which of the five philosophies discussed: win / win, win / lose, lose / win, lose / lose and win, which is the most effective? The answer is: “It depends”. If you win a soccer game, it means that the other team loses.
Options for long-term use of these philosophies
If you work in a regional office that is miles away from another regional office and has no functional relationship between them, you may want to compete in a profit / loss situation to boost the business. However, you do not want to create a situation in which you need collaboration between people or groups of people to achieve maximum success.
If you value a relationship and the problem is not really that important, you can lose / win to really confirm the other person. “What I want is not as important to me as my relationship with you. This time, let’s do it the way you want it.” You can also choose this option if you feel that the time and effort to win is simply not worth it.
There will be circumstances in which you want to win and you will not be very concerned about the relationship of this victory with others. For example, if your child’s life was in danger, they may be marginally concerned about other people and circumstances. But saving this life would be extremely important.
So the best option depends on reality. The challenge is to read this reality carefully and not always translate profit / loss or other scripts.
Most situations are actually part of an interdependent reality, and then win / win is really the only viable alternative of the five.
Respect your counterpart
Winning / losing is not feasible, because even if I win in a confrontation with you, your feelings, your attitudes towards me and our relationship are affected. For example, if I am a supplier to your company and I win at a certain negotiation on my terms, I can now get what I want. But are you coming back to me? My short term win will really be a long term loss if I don’t get you back. An interdependent gain / loss is really a long-term loss / loss.
If we lose / win, it seems like you are getting what you want now. But how does that affect my attitude towards working with you and fulfilling the contract? I may not be so eager to please you. So we’re on a loss again. Losing / losing is not possible in any context.
And if I focus on my own gain and don’t even consider your point of view, there is no basis for any kind of productive relationship. In the long run, we’ll both lose if it’s not a win for either of us. Therefore Win / Win is the only alternative in interdependent realities.
However, if individuals can’t find a synergistic solution that both like, they can look for an even bigger win / win expression: Win / Win or not.
Leaving can make sense
Basically, “don’t try” means that if we can’t find a solution that will benefit both of us, we will agree to disagree pleasantly. Expectations were not created, service contracts were not concluded. I am not hiring you or we are not doing a specific job together because it is obvious that our values or goals are going in opposite directions.
It is much better to do this in advance than afterwards when expectations have been raised and both sides have been disappointed.
If you don’t have an agreement as an option in your mind, feel free because you don’t have to manipulate people, push your own agenda, and stand up for what you want. You can be open. You can really try to understand the deeper problems underlying the positions.
“Don’t try” as an option, you can honestly say:
“I just want to win / win. I want to win and I want you to win. I wouldn’t get away with it and wouldn’t want to feel good because it would eventually emerge downstream and create a retreat. On the other hand, I don’t think you would feel good if you got away with it and I gave up so let’s work to win / win and if we can’t find it we accept that we won’t do business at all. It would be better not deal with it as living with a decision that wasn’t suitable for either of you. Maybe we can meet another time. “
This concept can lead you to bigger fish
Some time after I learned the concept of “win / win” or “don’t try”, the president of a small software company shared the following experiences with me.
“We developed new software that we sold to a specific bank under a five-year contract. The bank president was excited, but his people weren’t really behind the decision. ”
“About a month later, this bank changed presidents. The new president came up to me and said,” I don’t feel comfortable with these software conversions. “I have a disaster in my hands. All of my people say they don’t go through and I really feel like I can’t push them now. “
“My own company had serious financial problems. I knew I had every legal right to enforce the contract. But I was convinced of the value of the win / win principle. ”
Then I said to him: ‘We have a contract. Your bank has insured our products and services to convert them to this program. But we understand that you are not satisfied with it. So we want to return the contract, return your deposit, and if you ever look for a software solution in the future, come back and visit us. “
“I literally said goodbye to a $ 84,000 contract. I was about to commit financial suicide. But I felt that in the long run, if the principle was true, I would go back and pay dividends.
“Three months later, the new president called me.” Now I’m going to make changes to my data processing, “he said,” and I want to do business with you. “He signed a $ 240,000 contract.”
Always weigh the cost-benefit ratio
Anything less than win / win in an interdependent reality is a bad happy moment that affects your relationship in the long run. The cost of this impact needs to be carefully considered. If you can’t make a real profit, it is often better to try “don’t try”.
The win / win or “no deal” approach is more realistic at the start of a business or business relationship. In an ongoing business relationship, “do not try” may not be a viable option that can cause serious problems, especially for family businesses or businesses founded on a friendship basis.
To keep the relationship going, sometimes people make commitments after years for years, thinking of winning / losing or losing / winning, even when they talk about winning / winning. This creates serious problems for people and the company, especially when the competition works with win / win and synergy effects.
Without an agreement, many of these companies simply deteriorate and fail or have to be handed over to professional managers. Experience shows that it is often best to start a family or friend company by recognizing the possibility of a subsequent agreement and making a purchase / sale agreement so that the company can thrive without permanently damaging the relationship.
Of course there are some relationships where “don’t try” is not possible. I would not leave my child or spouse and go for a “no deal” (it would be better to compromise if necessary, a low win / win path). In many cases, however, it is possible to start a negotiation with a full win / win or no-deal stance. And the freedom in that position is incredible.