Meanwhile beat On my computer, I looked up and saw my vision board: photos of a house with electric gates, a black Ferrari, and $ 1 million. At the time he was living in Bath, UK, and dreamed of living in the USA.
I had just started my business from Coaching and I was hungry for success and ready to do anything to achieve my goal. With $ 50,000 in debt and a lot of fear, I nervously hired a mentor and used my last $ 5,000 to pay him the first installment of a $ 30,000 investment, hoping it would pay off.
After this investment my business grew rapidly and after an initial sales poverty I went to the races. I worked hard and made my first million in 2015. By investing $ 120,000, I was able to get an E2 Visa and start my business in the United States. My dream began to come true.
“Traumatic events like bullying disrupt our energy system”
The more I worked intensively on my personal growth and development, the more I started meditating, traveling to Peru and India and doing spiritual work, the lighter, more confident and happier I felt. The expensive watches on my arm literally felt heavier. I started to appreciate the simple things.
As we evolve, the life we’ve built can feel very different, and that’s exactly what happened to me. My material life, the things I had acquired, began to feel like a burden to me. What I began to learn was that past events in my life, especially in my childhood, had lowered my self-esteem and made me seek validation from others. My competitive and unhealthy mindset was rooted in early life experiences.
- Read: 5 Tips to Overcome Fear and Insecurity
In my adult life, people would often say to me, “Simon, why don’t you smile a lot?” I can attribute my reluctance to smile to an intimidating teacher who yelled, “Wipe the smile off your face,” and sent me into a tiny room to “watch the wallpaper fall off the wall.”
Then when I was 13 I overlooked a popular kid in school. “He just touched me,” he yelled for everyone to hear. He accused me of being gay and I was beaten and kicked most days for three years. As a result, the men didn’t feel safe, so I isolated myself to protect myself. The computer lab became my safe place, and it was here that I sparked my entrepreneurial spirit by producing Fanzines of computer games and sells them at kiosks.
Traumatic events like bullying disrupt our energy system. We are fine, then there is a massive shock and we do not recover: we feel paralyzed by the memory of the trauma. And we mask it by numbing ourselves by all possible means. We build walls to protect ourselves. We push people away and we have to be in control. Inwardly we are desperate, but outwardly we pretend everything is fine. Some people experience numbness from gambling or drugs; for others, it’s sex or spending too much. For me there were several addicting behaviors.
Back then, making money was addicting. Every time he hit a monthly goal, he had to beat it the following month. It became a game, an unhealthy game that was ingrained in comparison to others who made more money than me, which was my definition of success.
“I really wanted to feel connected to others”
Within weeks of arriving in the United States, I was renting a mansion for $ 5,500 in La Jolla, San Diego, and renting my first Ferrari California for about $ 1,500 a month. However, since it was a two-seat racing car (which had no intention of driving on a racetrack), it wasn’t entirely practical. I had to pick up several customers at the airport, so I went to the Land Rover dealer and added another car and $ 1,500 monthly payment to my growing expenses.
After about a year, I ended a toxic and co-dependent relationship. Depressed and lonely, I decided to upgrade to a larger 1.5 acre villa with a basketball court, pool, and hot tub. Ferrari was also more than happy to switch to a Ferrari 458, now for $ 3,200 a month. Of course, I walked away feeling like a “boss” willing to “smash” him harder.
I vividly remember driving along the beach and doing a loop just so people would look at me in the car. My posts on social media were chosen to appeal to those who wanted the same lifestyle. Material life. Of course, I didn’t think about it because I lived this life.
The novelty of the car lasted about a month, although I have to say it was gratifying to allow the kids to sit in the seat and take pictures with their parents, and I loved closing my clients’ faces after the ride see. These moments touched my heart.
If you hadn’t already guessed it, I was deeply unhappy, seeking reassurance, and dying to feel connected to others. That’s how I attracted people, but unfortunately some people only loved me for what I had, not what I was. When we present ourselves to the world in a certain way, we attract the same energy and personality.
Don’t get me wrong: I don’t deny anyone having nice things, but for me personally it was unhealthy because I didn’t collect or drive sports cars because I really liked cars. He didn’t need the extra bedrooms in the villa. I had what my heart needed and what my ego was consuming; The difference was huge and very expensive.
Although I spent a lot of money, I also strived to be a better version of myself. I have invested a lot in personal development and have been to seminars, events and settings all the time Lie. I had ended some of my more serious addictions, but I still smoked and drank a lot. He was dying to get rid of these habits, as well as the outbursts of anger and anger he was experiencing.
“Having the courage to open up is a selfish step in power”
Unhealthy and addicting behavior will not just go away. If left untreated, they get out of hand and affect not only you but the people around you as well. But there is good news: you can now adopt healthier behaviors and change your life.
Especially for enterprising men, admitting that you have a problem is incredibly challenging. But having the courage to open up is an ego-defying power movement. Only by taking control of your struggles will you begin to experience positive emotional changes.
The key is to start the conversation that leads to receiving the right tools, processes, and opportunities for healing. You deserve to be truly happy and you will be.
“Giving back is the real key to happiness”
When you stop comparing yourself to others, you will feel a deep sense of inner peace and tranquility. The frenzied energy will leave your body and you can operate from a place of relaxed confidence. The endless staircase that just never stops finally does. You keep making money, but it doesn’t have that unhealthy burden to distract you from the things that are really important to you and the people you love. You feel more connected than ever in your whole life and you like the best version of yourself. You feel like your most authentic self. They understand that you started with nothing and will go with nothing: giving back is the real key to happiness.
- You might be interested in: How to overcome (and use) the fear of insecurity