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The 7 sad realities that you, as a leader, have to face to avoid being disappointed

June 8, 2020

The opinions of the employees of s You are personal.


Nobody can argue that anyone who takes a hierarchical position does so out of narcissism. Call this self-love if you want, but ultimately and beyond a name question, you decide to sit in it Leadership role it implies the desire to be admired by others. And as my psychoanalytic colleagues would say, it’s a search for love. For the latter in particular, it is known that it is full of joy, full of imagination and idealizations, from which poetry has been nurtured and nurtured every day. And as is well known, love is often not returned. Or not exactly what it should be. How many times have we heard from a friend that his partner is not what he expected? What “disappointed” you?

The 7 sad realities that you, as a leader, have to face to avoid being disappointedThe 7 sad realities that you, as a leader, have to face to avoid being disappointed

So, after parallelism, I will say that guide It also brings us to the challenge of disappointment just around the corner. A disagreement. Or, to put it better, an encounter with something undesirable: the reality that suddenly contradicts any previous fantasy.

1. We all go through a cycle

This statement refers to the fact that people can hold our place in an organization for a period of time, and most of the time it won’t be until we retire. Our motivation and performance curve has been shown to decrease over time. That we work better as long as we are excited about a task and that the value we can bring to the same organization will decrease over time.

If this is clear, it means that as much as you do to hold someone, if they are valuable, at some point you will look for other horizons, exactly fulfill your desires for progress, and go. If not, you need to be aware of it and make the decision to solve it or move it to another area.

It must be assumed that no employee will be forever, a statement that also applies to ourselves.

2. You will not let your employees mature. You are not his father.

I have seen more than once how well-intentioned leaders are in a parental place and I try to educate their subordinates by teaching them successively what is right or wrong. Let me tell you that this is a very good exercise to fill your chest and comment on what you are doing at your friend’s table, but frankly useless in practice. From your seat, you can help lead an employee and accompany them in difficult situations. Without a doubt, however, maturation is a 100% subjective process, and therefore it has to go through it at its own request and in the times chosen by it. .

3. They are an important part of the results, but not the only one

You and your employees are the protagonists of both successes and failures. However, do not neglect the context that also plays a leading role on the scoreboard. Do not have any illusions that you are indispensable and do not judge yourself succinctly if the goals are not achieved. Think the results always depend on the best combination of the three factors mentioned.

4. You will never feel recognized enough

Like love, it never reaches …

In psychoanalytic terms, the demand for love is by definition unsatisfied, and if, as I said above, leadership is also a question of love, it is doomed to suffer for it.

Who hasn’t heard that a leader complained because he did all the work and nobody praised him? Or raise the hand of the person who has never heard their boss scream at the four winds: “I am tired of not being heard in my house or in this company!”.

Beckett says it wonderfully:

they are coming

others and the same

it is different and the same for everyone

the absence of love is different for everyone

the absence of love is the same for everyone.

5. Your employees are different from you

Tolerating differences enables the synergy effect on teams. Suppose it means that you shouldn’t be angry if they make decisions other than what you would have made. Or evaluate situations differently. Or his enthusiasm is sparked by things other than you.

Managers often choose their team members based on their image and similarity and worship identification: “It reminds me of my age.”

My recommendation is that you are encouraged to think beyond comfort and involve someone with ideas and thoughts that are not similar to yours.

6. No decision you make goes unnoticed

You will always be exposed and have to pay the cost. Do not have any illusions that “it will only be a temporary storm” or that “people will forget everything”.

Don’t be surprised if you are reminded of something a few months after this or that. “This happens because when Maria was half an hour late for the meeting, she did not sanction her” or “Moving from this office to this took less time for all of our families because we now spend more time on the Having to lose trip here “are examples of it. I want you to be warned and not naive …

7. You are always accused of not communicating enough

Contrary to Watzlawick’s axiom: “It is impossible not to communicate,” it happens here that you prepare yourself when employees have to object to something. We know that it is never possible to say everything, even if it is our wish. In addition, there is a lot of information that only executives agree that they need to filter, because if they don’t, it would be patent responsibility.