Ten ways to avoid the royal wedding

Prince Harry and Meghan MarkleImage copyrightPA

For some, the day will be spent preparing for street parties, wearing the union jack as a cape, and praying that the weather behaves itself. But for others it can be a reminder of a hatred of crowds, bunting and the pomp and ceremony that goes with a royal wedding.

If you’re in the latter camp, here are some different ways to spend the day.

1. Watch the FA Cup final

Image copyrightIan Walton

For those who want to be glued to the TV, but don’t want to watch the royal wedding, the FA Cup offers a brilliant alternative. Sports lovers can revel in the grudge match between Chelsea and Man Utd.

Ten ways to avoid the royal wedding
Ten ways to avoid the royal wedding

But with a 17:15 BST kick-off, it will be hard to avoid the royal wedding altogether as the nuptials commence at midday.

The royal wedding has also caused havoc with the Duke of Cambridge’s schedule. As president of the Football Association, Prince William usually hands out the FA Cup to the winning side. But he will miss this year’s match at Wembley in favour of his brother’s wedding.

And for those who follow Scottish football, the Scottish Cup final between Celtic and Motherwell will kick-off at 15:00.

2. Go underground

Image copyrightGetty Images
Image caption Gough’s cave in the Cheddar Gorge is a perfect place to get away from social media

Wherever you go on royal wedding day, you may be unable to escape the nuptials because of news updates and photos posted to your mobile phone by friends on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. One option might be to go underground – literally.

The lack of phone signal in the cave systems around Cheddar Gorge in Somerset provide the perfect location for those trying to avoid posts about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. It’s also a fun and educational day out for the whole family.

If you’re unable to get to Somerset, White Scar Cave in North Yorkshire offers a suitable alternative.

3. Go to the cinema

Image copyrightGetty Images

If you don’t have a set of subterranean caves to peruse, maybe the cinema is the best way to go.

You can sit in the darkened room for two hours, safe in the knowledge that the audience shouldn’t be following events in Windsor.

The weekend releases include Deadpool 2, the drama On Chesil Beach and a family comedy about a canine police dog called Show Dogs.

4. Watch some royal-based comedy

Image copyrightChannel 4
Image caption Channel 4 sitcom The Windsors will be spoofing Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s wedding

If your blood boiled at the thought of the royal wedding, you might be able to take some solace in the fact that it’s being mocked on national television.

Channel 4 comedy The Windsors, a parody soap opera of the royal family, will return for a one-off special to commemorate Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s special day.

It was already broadcast on Tuesday, but there will be a re-run of the sitcom at midnight on Saturday.

5. Enjoy the boxing

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Media captionJosh Warrington has no respect for ‘cocky’ IBF champion Lee Selby

If matrimonial harmony is not your thing, watching two men slug it out in a boxing match might be a viable alternative. Lee Selby, otherwise known as The Barry Boy Assassin, will be defending his IBF world featherweight title against Josh Warrington.

The fight is taking place on Saturday night at Elland Road in Leeds.

6. Go to an anti-monarchist convention

If you want to be around others who don’t want anything to do with the royal wedding, Republic, who campaign for the abolition of the monarchy, are hosting an international convention on the future of republican movements across Europe.

The event in London will include MPs Tommy Sheppard and Emma Dent Coad, and speakers from Denmark, the Netherlands, Norway, Spain and Sweden.

7. Watch Simon McCoy

Skip Twitter post by @bbcthree

Simon McCoy: the gift that keeps giving.

— BBC Three (@bbcthree) October 18, 2017

End of Twitter post by @bbcthree

During coverage of royal occasions, there can sometimes be hours where nothing of any significance happens.

Veteran broadcaster and BBC News presenter Simon McCoy is well versed in covering the royals and has won plaudits online for his blunt presenting patter. While some of the country gets swept up in a swell of patriotism, it might be a good time to stick on one of his best royal announcements.

8. Take advantage of the lack of queues

Image copyrightGetty Images
Image caption Parents with an anathema for all things royal can take their children out to do chores

A royal wedding might make some want to eat their teeth but it can come with its advantages. While many people crowd around TVs and revel in eating tepid finger food, others can take advantage of the lack of queues.

Whether you fancy buying some pot plants at your local garden centre, need to do a big supermarket shop, or you fancy taking back that trowel you bought in error at a DIY store, the world’s your oyster.

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