The comedian was targeted by the thieves on mopeds as he waited to pick his children up from school in north London on Monday.
At a packed 3Arena in Dublin, the 42-year-old described the mugging, which saw the pair smash the windows of his Range Rover before forcing him to hand over his Rolex watch.
McIntyre said: “It was not so much the fast and the furious as stationary and panicking. I could not get it started. It was fight or flight.”
He admitted to the audience that it was “touch and go” whether he would return to the stage so soon after the mugging.
The star told the crowd: “It is my favourite gig, it is my favourite arena. I am okay, we are okay.
“I could have done with you, 9,000 Dubliners, ‘We have got your back, coming out of the trees, who do you think you are?’
“Unfortunately I had to fend for myself and it did not go well.
“Think the film Taken, with Liam Neeson.”
Taken featured Neeson as a retired CIA agent relying on his old skills to save his daughter.
McIntyre also joked about his watch, saying that if he had worn a cheaper one it would not have been taken.
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He quipped: “They say time is the healer. I have lost my watch, how is time going to heal? I have no idea what time it is.”
McIntyre tweeted a photo of himself in front of the Dublin audience, captioned with the words: “Back. Thank you Dublin x”.