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“I have a difficult time, but others are worse. Can i complain? ‘

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The opinions of the employees of s You are personal.


“I have a difficult time, but others are worse. Can i complain? ‘
“I have a difficult time, but others are worse. Can i complain? ‘

Carrie Skowronski knows people who suffer. Her brother is an emergency doctor with five children. Some of their friends have lost their parents and others have lost their jobs. Compared to them, Carrie is lucky: her health is intact and she still makes money. And that gets them in trouble.

“I can still feel it Scared, unsure and angry that this pandemic has affected me and the business I’ve been building for six years? “, ask her.

She answers her own question: “Absolutely.”

Because the SARSCov2 coronavirus pandemic affects everyone in different ways, many entrepreneurs tend to suppress their emotions. You can worry that your symptoms may be persistent or that you shouldn’t feel bad when other people are having a worse time. Brené Brown, a vulnerability researcher and bestselling author, has a name for it: comparative suffering or minimizing one’s feelings because other people suffer more.

“Unfortunately, in times of deep fear and scarcity, one of the things that is triggered immediately is the comparison,” he said recently in his podcast. Unlock us. “Who has it more complicated? Who has it better?” This kind of comparison can become unhealthy and cause people to suppress the emotions they need to process.

Skowronski agrees. She is a leadership trainer and encourages her clients and herself to express what they need. “Rejecting these thoughts would have kept me from asking important questions about the future of my business, such as, ‘What are my options now?’ And ‘What do my customers need from me?’ “, He says. “The negative emotion has a purpose. That purpose is to notice it. Name it and then make other decisions about it.”

Do you need a little support to give yourself permission to be human now, in business and in life? These are the best Skowronski techniques:

1. Write what you feel and then say it out loud

Image: Aaron Burden on Unsplash

“Whatever you feel. The good and the bad. I strongly recommend my customers to write down everything they feel on paper. Doing so can help you to take self-pity,” says Skowronski.

She suggests trying a process called meditation of loving-kindness. After you write down what you are experiencing, calm down, take a deep breath and repeat these words: “I can be happy. Can I be safe? Can I be healthy? Can I be at peace?” (If entrepreneurs wanted, she says, they could also add, “Can I be successful?”) Do this three times: the first time for you, the second time for someone you love, and the third time for someone who Need help. Help reduce the negative internal dialogue so that you can focus on the positive. “I just made this exercise an integral part of my morning walk,” she says.

2. Inventory of your support network

Image: Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

“Take the time to find out who the people in your life are who can give you the support you need,” she says. “Maybe he’s a close friend at work. A mentor. Another important person.”

You may even want to write their names to make you feel better because it makes your network feel tangible. This way you have created something to hold on to and save where you need it. You have to be honest and open. “I found it helpful to fill my little one with my professional support network with other entrepreneurs who can empathize with some of the feelings that I may experience,” says Skowronski.

3. Try to take a perspective

Image: Anika Huizinga on Unsplash

If you’re anxious or struggling, keep saying, “I wonder …” This way, you can identify the problems you’re facing, but shift your brain attitudes toward curiosity.

“This helps prevent us from getting stuck in a fixed mindset, and instead turns us into a growth mindset that is very different from the idea that everything will be fine,” Skowronski says.

The expert often does this when she thinks of her brother, the emergency doctor. First of all, of course, she takes care of her health. But then she begins to wonder how he feels in the situation and how his wife and children feel about it. Then she wonders if there is anything she can do to help. “This helped me to imagine real opportunities, simply as an SMS with the question ‘How are you?’ He says yes, he is in danger, and yes, this virus will kill many people, but he agreed to that when he became a doctor. That is her purpose, “she says. “He also guided me through the logs he uses when he comes home to his family every day, which has helped me to breathe a little deeper and check my own worries.”

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