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How to use “destructive criticism” to be successful

July 28, 2020

Read for 7 min

The opinions of the employees of s You are personal.


How to use “destructive criticism” to be successfulHow to use “destructive criticism” to be successful

Essentially, feedback should be helpful. In practice, getting feedback is stressful. We fear these annual reviews. As soon as the day comes, we tense up, our palms sweat and our hearts start racing.

It doesn’t stop with physiological reactions either: we also build mental barriers. As from the New York Timessays organizational psychologist Adam Grant Negative feedbackour ego is so threatened that our brains restrict the incoming information. “We regulate to avoid serious criticism.”

Given the prospect of negative comments, we’ve also changed our social habits. According to research by Harvard and the University of North Carolina, people go so far as to avoid colleagues who tend to criticize them constructively.

It is natural to fear negative comments. Dr. Martin Paulus, professor of psychiatry at the University of California at San Diego, says that two parts of our brain determine how we process criticism emotionally: the amygdala and the medial prefrontal cortex. While the former determines what is important and helps us build emotional memories, the latter regulates how we respond to emotional stimuli, including criticism.

The amygdala also plays a key role in our fight or flight response, so negative feedback at the most primitive level can feel threatening.

Fortunately, there are ways to turn that feedback into a positive experience, even one that improves performance.

Here are tips for staying open and getting the most out of negative criticism.

1. Previous negative comments

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Once you find out about a customer, colleague or manager’s displeasure, take a proactive stance and try to determine what went wrong. When you start the conversation, mentally prepare yourself for the following constructive criticism and dampen your body’s fight or flight response.

In addition, the opening for constructive criticism helps to create an environment in which feedback is welcome. As Farnam Street writes:

“You can encourage others, be they bosses, colleagues, or subordinates, by asking them for comments on their performance.”

2. Slow down and ask questions

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We can learn a lot from user-generated reviews. For example, Howl It can be an incredibly powerful tool for companies looking for feedback on their products or services. Sometimes it can be mostly negative. The point is, when people are inspired to post reviews, they tend to be emotional, for better or for worse. On the other hand, negative feedback as a business owner can really hurt.

Your instinct might be to react immediately, but to slow down instead. How Yelp advises its business users:

“Read the review first. Then read the review again. Read it again. Look for value in your third shot. Ask yourself: What did the customer expect? Why did you expect that? Where was the misunderstanding? Why is that happend? What changes can I make to ensure that this situation does not recur? “

Smart advice, regardless of whether it is a personal or online exchange. Slow it down and dig deeper before continuing your knee jerk reaction.

3. Think of feedback as a learning tool

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Dr. Keith Baker, a professor at Harvard Medical School, emphasizes the learning aspect by giving feedback to medical residents to make swallowing easier.

Dr. Baker explains: “Learning orientation is important to tolerate negative feedback and has a strong impact on how it is given and received.”

Think of constructive criticism as an objective diagnosis: you can use it to understand what went wrong and to find out how you can improve. The more you discover, the better you can evaluate, determine whether you need to collect more information, and determine the way forward.

As Bill Gates said, “Your most annoyed customers are your greatest source of learning.”

4. Separate criticism from “I”

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It’s easy to confuse feedback with a judgment about who we are: strong criticism can seem like a personal attack. But that doesn’t make sense. According to Dr. It is crucial for Paul to separate criticism from our sense of identity. He explains: “Since even the best writers can write bad articles, this will release the strong sense of self-harm that is often accompanied by criticism and make the response easier …”

It also removes the emotional impact of negative feedback, which can lead to self-sabotaging rumination, and gives us the freedom to focus on improving our performance.

5. Remember the success of MVP

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The National Basketball Association awards the Most Valuable Player Award (MVPevery year to the player who has made the most progress in the regular season. Writing for The alarm clockSports journalist Kevin O’Connor explains that winning this award “often heralds a career with lasting success: 16 of the 33 winners have been selected to serve on at least one team All starincluding seven of the last 10 winners. “

There is a great urge to recognize your need for improvement and to devote yourself to improvement. As you progress, your drive will renew itself.

If you have a difficult start with a particular customer or project, not everything is lost. Take the time to take a step back, identify the pain point and find out what you can do to improve.

The growth of my startup over the past twelve years has taught me that it is normal to feel a variety of emotions after a bad rating. But it is also impossible to avoid mistakes or sometimes to be below average. We are human beings, not robots: shipments get lost, cables are crossed and sometimes we just don’t feel good. Our users are human too and we cannot control their subjective experiences.

Just think of this Google review of the Great Wall of China: “It’s actually a bit ugly … It wasn’t nice.”

As the saying goes, you are not a gold coin.

If you inevitably come across negative comments, I hope that the tips above can make the blow easier and help make this criticism worthwhile. Remember, people who criticize us are often our biggest supporters as long as we take the opportunity to deal with their comments directly.

To know more: Motivate your employees! Here is the guide to achieve it

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