Many people keep thinking “I don't know what I'm passionate about”, “I don't know what I love to do”, and they hope that one day life will send them that answer as a fall from the sky.
The opinions expressed by employees are personal.
When we think about what I really want to do in this life, the typical cheap motivational advice we receive is: “Follow your dreams,” “find something you are passionate about,” “do what you love . “ And I agree with that, the problem is that when it's something so intangible, people stay the same. This is equivalent to your boss telling you one day, “hey you can go out and buy me something I love” – you will say: “Yes, but what? Specifically and specifically what do you want?”.
When I hear a speaker say, “Go out into the world, quit your job and do what you love,” I really know that not even the speaker knows the answer to that question.
Many people keep thinking “I don't know what I am passionate about”, “I don't know what I love to do”, and they hope that one day life will send them that answer as a fall from the sky.
That will never happen.
I am going to teach you two simple exercises, which can change your life forever if you do them, so that once and for all you solve this doubt. When you go through life without knowing what your purpose is, what your sense of life is, why you exist, you are actually wasting your time in life.
1. The friend's test
Find your best friend, a friend who if you had to call at 2 am with a problem, you are certain that he will go looking for you wherever you are. This exercise does not work with your partner, girlfriend, wife or siblings and not even with your mother. It will not work.
Find a friend and ask him this simple question: Why are we friends?
At the beginning, you will not understand this question. He will see you with a perplexed look, and perhaps tell you something like: “What do you mean? We have been friends forever. That is a rare question. ”
You can give it some context, tell it that you are doing an exercise to help you improve this year and that you need some information from you about yourself.
And he asks again: “Why are you my friend?”
On this occasion they may give you general answers such as “you are intelligent, loyal, kind, funny”. And all those things may be true. Answer: “Well, you have defined the word friend, but because you are my friend”
The key is silence, do not speak or say anything, but let your attitude tell you what you expect an answer. If the situation becomes uncomfortable, ask again the question: “Why are you my friend?”
It may be a bit awkward for both of you, because very few people take the time to talk and deepen their friendship ties. Remember that your feelings come from the limbic brain (our emotional part), so the answer does not come from the rational part and it will take a moment to elaborate an answer, especially if your friend is a man, men do not like to access the part Emotional of our brain. Give it a moment, look it in the eye and be silent, if necessary repeat the question.
If he keeps telling you things like “I don't know, it's really a difficult question.” Let him talk, keep talking, and listen, keep listening and repeating the question, most people will fight to find the right words, and will give answers in circles like “I don't know friend, we're just friends and that's it.”
But if you stand firm, magic will eventually arise.
They will tell you something like:
“You make Me Feel….”
“When I'm with you, I feel …”
That is the kind of answer you are looking for.
You will feel an emotional connection with that person when he begins to describe how he feels when he is with you. You may be touched by what they tell you and a lump in your throat. This happens when there is an emotional connection.
Since you have never had this conversion with your friend before, use your curiosity to clarify and deepen what they are telling you.
Friend: “I feel good when I am with you. I feel that no matter what I do you will always accept me. ”
You: “What do you mean when you say I feel good.”
Friend: “I don't know, I think I feel safe with you, and you always give me an answer I never thought before, you make me see things that nobody else sees, and that gives me a lot of security.”
You: “So, no matter how you are, when we are together, that helps you calm down because with me you can see things you did not see.”
Friend: (his face lights up) “Exactly it is as if you inspire me to keep going and help me see that my problems are not so difficult, that there is always a solution or if there is not, you give me security and motivation to continue ahead”.
You: “Then, with me you find inspiration to solve your problems.”
Friend: “Exactly, in addition to your advice always working, I don't know why, you are someone who has” something special “that is not easy to find, you have an angel, and you know how to explain things in life so well” .
Once you are clear about what your friend wants to tell you then you can take note of what you learned, in this case, which by the way is my example, I did this with my best friend and partner, with whom I not only live, but we have learned to undertake together.
My friend told me:
- I inspire him to live better.
- I give you a new perspective to solve problems.
- My advice always works.
Write down three things that your friend tells you, if necessary, look for two or three more friends to repeat the exercise and write down the ones that have the greatest coincidence or those that resonate with you.
2. The exercise: “When you were a child”
Ask yourself: “When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?”
A couple of months ago I was giving training for marketing directors of several companies in Mexico and when we did this exercise, the CEO of a large company shared: “I wanted to be an astronaut.”
And the next question I asked him: “why?”
The CEO replied: “Because I wanted to see what the planet was like from space, and I wanted to be able to tell people that they had no chance to see the world, what the world is like from the outside, how it looks from another point of view.”
This person is CEO of an important technological brand in our country, and his eyes lit up when he connected “and that is what I do now, I help people see a new world, a world of technology that very few see and that few understand, my job is to help them see how their life and their world will be better if they use technology. Wow!
With these two simple exercises, you can discover what gives your life meaning and purpose. You can join the answers, make a statement, have a new context, have something clearer about you.
Simon Sinek, a famous sociologist who drew up the theory of the Golden Circle, says we should all find the “WHY” we are alive, why we exist, and that “why” determines who we are, not what we do, not where we live, not what we know, but knowing your “why.” People tend to define themselves by what they do or the characteristics of their life, but very few people know their “why.”
My “why” is to “inspire people to live better, giving them a new and motivated vision for their lives with tips and practical tools that work.”
The reason for my life is that, the purpose of my life is that, it is not being an entrepreneur, it is not buying me a Mercedez Benz, not even being president or being on the Forbes list. None of that, what I can and can achieve, will bring as much meaning and purpose to my life as to inspire people to live better.
Finding your purpose is a journey, but it is a journey that you must start in the right direction.
For example, I can inspire people to live better by being a psychologist, and I do, but it turns out that I also enjoy and love, teach and train, now I give training to marketing teams, to company directors and help companies and brands to have a new vision with practical tools that work, and I have those brands and companies find their “why” and know how to communicate it to their audience. And maybe in 10 years, find a new way to do this. Life is changing and evolves.
When you know why, you will have an unfair advantage over others. When you have a job interview, do not list all the skills you have or your work experience, start by saying “why” they should hire you and adapt to the context what you find in this exercise. You will see a dramatically different result in your life and in everything you do.