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9 phrases that smart people avoid

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How often has it happened to us that we say something to a person and they understand it differently or simply misinterpret it.

9 phrases that smart people avoid
9 phrases that smart people avoid

The verbal mistakes They usually happen to us because we say things without thinking about the consequences that they could have.

To understand this it is necessary social conscienceThis is the ability to capture other people’s emotions and experiences.

TalentSmart tested that emotional intelligence (EQ) by more than a million people and discovered that social awareness is a skill many of us lack.

This happens because we are so focused on what we are saying and how they answer us that we are not paying enough attention to what others may be feeling.

This is a problem because people are complicated. So if we want to understand what is going through the other person’s head, we have to direct all of our attention to the person we are talking to.

The advantage of social awareness is that with small adjustments we can change our relationships with others significantly.

Here are nine phrases that emotionally intelligent people avoid in casual conversation.

1. “You look tired”

Tired people look nil attractive. They have sagging eyes, messy hair, difficulty concentrating, and are irritable. Telling someone that they look tired implies all of that and something else.

Better to say: “All good?” Most of the people who ask this should help. Instead of taking on someone’s status, you should consult them directly. That way the person can open up and share. And most importantly, instead of looking rude, you’ll look apprehensive.

2. “Wow, you’ve lost a lot of weight!”

Another “well-intentioned” comment – in this case a compliment – that sounds like criticism. Telling someone “they are very thin” means that they previously looked fat or unattractive.

Better to say: “You look amazing”. It’s easy because instead of comparing her old looks to her now, you’re just complimenting her on how good she looks.

3. “You were always too much for him / her anyway”

When someone breaks up with a relationship, be it personal or professional, this comment implies that they have bad taste and made bad choices.

Better to say: “The one who lost was her.” This offers support without criticism.

4. “Is that always you …” or “Is that never you?”

Nobody ever or always does anything. People don’t see themselves in just one dimension, so don’t define them as such. These phrases make people defensive and repel your message. It is wrong because usually when you use these words it is because you are talking about an important topic. So try to avoid it.

Better to say: Just point out what bothered you about the other person. Base yourself on the facts. If he does this repeatedly and the frequency of this behavior becomes a problem, you can always say, “You do this often.”

5. “You look great for your age”

Any comparison can be rude, depending on how it is said. Nobody wants to be “too smart for an athlete” or in very good shape for someone of a certain age. These types of comparisons are usually very aggressive because people just want to be healthy no matter what age or lifestyle they have.

Better to say: “You look great”. Real compliments don’t need qualifiers.

6. “Like I said”

We all forget things from time to time and this phrase makes you sound like you are offended because you have to repeat the same thing. It is also difficult for the recipient as they will certainly be interested in hearing your point of view. If you feel annoyed about having to repeat things, it means you are insecure or believe yourself more than others (or both).

Better to say: If you have to repeat something, see what you can add to your message so it is more interesting and the other person can better reach out. That way they will no longer be forgotten.

7. “Good luck”

This one is subtle and depends on the tone in which you say it. Of course, if you do, it is not the end of the world, but you can do better as this phrase implies that the person needs luck to be successful.

Better to say: “I know you can handle it” or “You have everything you need.” This is best because you are suggesting that the person has the skills necessary to be successful. Plus, give him confidence and you will stand out from anyone who just wishes him luck.

8. “It’s up to you” or “whatever you want”

Perhaps you don’t care about the question, but your opinion matters to the person questioning you (if not, they would not have consulted you).

Better to say: “I don’t have a strong opinion. But I think the things you should consider are… ”. When you give your point of view (even if you don’t really have a preference), it shows that you care about the person who asked you.

9. “At least I never …”

This phrase is a very aggressive way to divert attention from a mistake you’ve made by pointing out a mistake someone else may have made (and which, by the way, you have already had to overcome).

Better to say: “We are sorry”. Accepting your mistake is the best way to make the conversation more rational so that everything goes well. Admitting the guilt that the argument isn’t growing.

In summary, the small details make a difference in everyday conversations (like everything in life). Try these suggestions, you will be amazed at the answer you get.

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