Business

8 techniques to lose the fear of talking about money and salary

14 min read

The opinions of the employees of You are personal.


  • Get used to talking about money.
  • Introduce money and wealth in conversations with friends.
  • At work, avoid tying the elevation to need.
  • At the beginning of the work, determine how often the salary is discussed and plan for it.
8 techniques to lose the fear of talking about money and salary
8 techniques to lose the fear of talking about money and salary

Why is money still a taboo that not all people dare to talk about? In Latin America in particular, it is very difficult to openly relate to money in general, including salary, how much you want to make or what you should be charging for your fees and services. You make detours, it is camouflaged in a different conversation context and even the topic is avoided.

This cultural trait is based on ingrained beliefs that have become limiting paradigms for people. In North American culture, for example, the salary and benefit package is something public, it is discussed, everyone knows what to expect, as well as the prices of the products and the fees for intangible services that are clearly set out from the start. .

It is all due to the lack of financial literacy from childhood.

Indeed, the fear of money has a name: cromethophobia, the irrational phobia of being related to silver. In this case, the intervention of a psychologist is required.

Abundance and wealth are not the same thing

While they are generally complementary, there is a difference between abundance and wealth creation. Wealth is broader: it’s generative, while wealth is fairly general and not very specific, for example when someone says “I wish abundance for myself and others”: from the point of view of “desire” this is excellent; However, it is vague what abundance means (to have a lot of something). Instead, wealth contributes to it; it is understood as “Have a lot of what can make a big difference in your life.”

The cultural inability of the family and school to manage personal finances does not promote a culture in which talking about money is natural. It’s a taboo subject and, Today it’s more taboo than talking about sex.

For example, in the Law on Emotional Education (which we promote in Argentina; it’s a project launched by educator Lucas Malaisi), teaching personal finance from kindergarten onwards is included as one of the dimensions that must be addressed in order to to achieve this have intelligence in order to decide and also to generate in this area.

Sentences that weaken the relationship with money

The famous family phrase “We’re not talking about money here!” or “It is tasteless to talk about money at the table” It then moves into the world of work, where companies hide the salaries that are expected to pay candidates for a position and, in turn, people dare not ask about the salary they will receive. Much less is said about the projected gains and the numbers are not transparent in the vast majority of organizations.

In terms of salary in particular, it’s something that creates fear. Fear is an emotion that manifests itself in a number of ways: Minimizing (“I don’t work for money”, “it’s my passion”); exaggerate (“Even if they didn’t pay me, I would still work here”); Feel resentment (“I earn more than another person”); fault (“I am not ready to earn such a salary) and so many more.

10 limiting beliefs about money

Image: Depositphotos.com

Although the list is larger than those listed here – sometimes “innocent” for example by popular sayings – these are 10 of the common beliefs that limit the possibility of money coming into your life.

It is worth remembering that there may be many more beliefs that prevent your access to this source of energy exchange that is used in the world.

The good news is that it is possible to change those beliefs at their roots, just like there are people who were created out of poverty and have great riches, companies, and very successful projects today if you are diligent. It can be a slow and gradual process where you work one by one before moving on to the next: it is not possible to deactivate an entire chain of beliefs at once from one day to the next. You may want to ask a coach or psychologist for help in solving this problem, which in many cases turns into a pathology.

How do I change? One belief is exchanged for another belief of the opposite and positive sign. As always, success depends entirely on you (not on the outside) and your commitment and conviction that you want to change. The process is slow and gradual.

Here are ten of the most popular limiting beliefs about money:

1) Money is bad / dirty. This phrase is heard ad nauseam by children, especially when money is tight or you come from poor or vulnerable families. It works on a false logic because money in itself is neither bad nor dirty; What can skew its use is what people do themselves.

2) If you have money, you must have done something wrong. It’s associated with dishonesty and dishonesty; and it was subconsciously amplified with that deadly phrase of “poor but honest”.

3) Money is only for rich people. While it is true that money is a magnet because the more you have the more it reaches you, there are millions and millions of examples in the world of people who have emerged from the absolute poverty and are among the richest in the world . Even people with no education or knowledge have made rich people. Check out their biographies, study them, learn how they did it, and you will see that it didn’t happen overnight.

4) Money only brings problems. Another very affirmed belief as it assumes that the more you have, the more inconvenience you will bring into your life. It is a victimization of those who choose not to risk or take the abundance that is always there, even though your limiting beliefs do not allow you to see or enjoy it.

5) They don’t make that much money. This is where a very strong emotional component comes into play, namely the feeling of worthiness. If you have had a lot of economic hardship in your life and your parents were poor, you may need to take into account that you are already an adult and you have responsibility for your life. Or will you continue to live a life full of limitations, also in this aspect, repeating what you did? If you suffered it, it means you didn’t like it; You may have gotten used to it. The change is internal and starts with you, not external.

6) My parents had a hard time making money; therefore me too. Another sacrifice, all they want is to put outside what should be inside: your personal responsibility.

7) It’s not enough for everyone. One of the great problems of the world (and it includes you) is that the world is very abundant: what fails is the distribution of wealth. If you wait for someone to come and give you your share, you will be poor all your life. It is preferable that you generate it yourself with your effort and conquer it step by step.

A specific example: someone in extreme poverty feels exhausted from this situation and decides to think and do something great. You start to operate it and earn a small income; and he multiplies it until his project is big. As you will see, he “opens” and “takes” the opportunity with his willpower and persistence from an individual situation that he wanted to change forever.

8) I am poor and I will die. In relation to personal transformation, this is known as a “decree”. It’s like having someone who is really you boss form an opinion that your life will always be this way. Guess what you get for it?

9) When I have money, I’m a bad person. Just as there are extremely corrupt rich and equally undesirable poor people; the same thing happens in reverse. All kinds of people in the world have good attitudes and of others. So you need to decide which side you want to be on and how you want to allow abundance to enter your life. Wealth is something that you can generate yourself; it is infinite, such as love. The more you give, the more you feel, the more you get.

10) Money doesn’t make you happy. This is another of the great excuses poor people choose to bully themselves and blame the government, the system, their families, their rich ancestors who did not inherit, and so on. Happiness is an inner conquest that has nothing to do with money: it is an individual process; That is why there are rich people who are extremely happy and full. and extremely unhappily poor. And quite the opposite. Don’t believe these paradigms: dare to challenge them and change them if you will.

8 techniques to lose the fear of talking about money

Image: Micheile Henderson via Unsplash

1) Get used to talking about money

Many companies moving towards new business models talk about salaries, benefits, incentive awards, request quotes in writing, and even suggest improvements based on productivity. As with customers, when you sell your products and services, this conversation needs to be natural, not enforced, and have specific review deadlines so that both parties are as satisfied as possible.

2) Introduce money and wealth to conversations with friends

In the same way as intimate topics are discussed, many people refer the conversation about what they make, their investments, or their money management to very few people. When you start to speak more openly, you can even get to know other perspectives than your mental model, which allows you to contrast salary situations. The suggestion is to do it with a select group to keep it in an intimate circle and ask internally how you are feeling about the emotions while doing it.

3) Avoid associating the raise with the need at work

This is a very common mistake. Many people think that the salary should meet a person’s need and it is not. For example, press “I need a raise because it’s not enough “ indicates that you are affirming or declaring your pattern of deficiency rather than creating wealth.

The salary is the one that the company and the accepted employee have agreed. It is part of the contract between both parties. If someone asks for a raise and says, “I can’t afford to pay the rent on my house,” it is not really a valid reason for any type of organization as it is determined by other types of parameters.

The tool that can help when you feel like you’re falling behind on your salary is to put it this way: “I want to talk to you about my salary. I would like to know what other things I can do about my performance, productivity and performance for the company in order to get access to a raise. Could we talk about it? “It’s very different.

4) At the beginning of the work, determine how often the salary is discussed and plan for it

Since this is what we call “difficult” conversation, it is important to agree beforehand on how to prepare the ground.

5) Find the right moment and create the environment

For example, in the middle of the coronavirus pandemic, I know of cases of employees complaining about their salary – without being essential or required occupations, in fact, activities have been temporarily canceled. Something completely outside of the context that was being lived at the time.

In order to discuss the salary with your supervisor or HR, it is important to anticipate the conversation, to prepare internally, to know what you have to offer (or have been achieved specifically and not abstractly in terms of above-average work performance, measurable numbers and contributions to the work team) to then talk about the salary issue.

6) For companies: transparent salary policy

In companies, I recommend that the salary policy be transparent and publicized and that all employees know the dynamics of increases, negotiations and special situations that may or may not be taken into account. This will make the situation much clearer for both the company and the team.

7) Avoid Comparison: Focus on the value you are adding

In both your performance as an employee and when offering services and products, be careful of excessive comparison with others as an argument to address your issues or set your fees. It’s a very common behavior and it’s rooted in Latino culture. What happens is that the comparison is just almost always lost. You want to focus on the value you bring to your market or employer.

8) Pay attention to the Mahn-Krüger effect

Psychology has proven that people who are less prepared tend to overestimate their achievements and it seems to them that they give much more than they really give with their work; While the most prepared people suffer from something similar to imposter syndrome – that is, they have the bar too high on themselves and feel like they may not deserve that much. Psychology calls this the Mahn-Krüger effect.

After all, and in terms of earnings, it’s a whole problem when it comes to salary; Because of this, there are some companies that have started to implement experiences where the employee is the one who sets the parameter for what seems right.

In my career as a business coach, I have the experience of working with a number of companies where everyone knows the numbers openly. When carried out correctly, this policy can be much more involved in the business, increasing motivation and awareness of the business, and getting the team to “shirt on”.

Similar Posts