Toxic people defy logic. Some are fortunate enough not to be aware of the negative effects they have on others, while others seem to enjoy pushing others to their limits. Either way, they are responsible for creating unnecessary complexity and stress.
Research has shown that stress has long-term negative effects on our brain. A few days of exposure, no matter how little, jeopardizes the effectiveness of neurons in the hippocampus, an important area of the brain responsible for thinking and memory.
Spending weeks of stress leads to irreversible damage to neural connections – the little arms that brain cells use to communicate with each other – and stress that lasts for months can permanently destroy neurons. Stress is a huge threat to your successBecause when you get out of hand, both your brain and your performance suffer.
Most sources of stress at work are easy to identify. If your nonprofit is working to make sure what it needs to work, you are likely stressed out but you know how to deal with it. However, it is the unexpected sources of stress that surprise and harm us. And these sources can be your bosses, your colleagues or your customers. Whether it’s negativity, cruelty, victim syndrome, or just plain insanity, toxic people put your brain in such a stressed state that no one should ever know.
- Learn More: 3 Quick Strategies For Dealing With Toxic People
The Whitehall II study tracked the lives of more than 10,000 subjects for 12 years and found that people in toxic relationships were at higher risk of heart problems such as fatal cardiac arrest.
While I’ve come across numerous effective strategies that successful people use to deal with toxic people, the following 12 are the best. To deal effectively with toxic people, you need an approach that allows you to control what you can and cannot get rid of. The important thing is to remember that you have more control than you think you are.
Here are methods people successfully use to keep others’ behavior from interfering with them or their work.
1. They limit the time they spend with chronic complainers
The complain And negative people are always bad news because they get you involved in their problems and not focus on solutions. They want people to join their sad party so they can feel better. People often feel pressured to listen to them for not wanting to sound rude, but there is a fine line between a kind ear and an emotional negativity that will keep you spiraling.
You can avoid this by setting boundaries and distancing yourself if necessary. Think of it this way: if the plaintiff smoked, would you sit there and smoke what they leave behind? You would set distance and you should do that with people who complain too. A great way to set boundaries is to ask complainants how they plan to solve the problem and they will most likely shut up or redirect the conversation to something productive.
2. They choose their battles with poisonous people well.
The successful people You know the importance of living another day, especially when you have poisonous people around you. When you find yourself in a conflict, a mishandled emotion can cause you to trip and end up in a fight that can hurt you. Reading and responding to your emotions will allow you to choose your fights wisely and only fight when necessary.
3. You are not attached to irrational behavior
Toxic people drive you crazy because their behavior is so irrational. And make no mistake, their behavior is really counter to reason so why are you allowing yourself to react emotionally to them and fall in love with the madness?
The more irrational and out of place someone is, the easier it should be for you to avoid them. Stop trying to hit her. Put emotional distance and look at your interactions with them like a science project (or as if you were their psychologist, if you prefer). You don’t have to react to the emotional chaos, just to the facts.
- To Learn More: How To Completely Distance Yourself From Toxic Situations And People In Order To Be Unstoppable In Your Life
4. You don’t let people manipulate you
Keep that emotional distance it requires you to be aware. You can’t stop someone from trying to manipulate you if you don’t know they are. There will be situations where you need to regroup yourself and choose the best way to proceed and that’s fine, don’t be afraid to take your time.
Think of it this way: if a mentally unstable person walks up to you on the street and asks you about Porfirio Díaz, you would most likely say things clearly to him.
When you meet a like-minded partner, sometimes it’s best to smile and say yes to everything. And when you need to correct them, take the time to plan the best way to go.
5. You set limits
This is where we fall behind the most. People feel like they can’t control the chaos because they work or live with someone. And that couldn’t be further from the truth. Even if you work closely with someone, that doesn’t mean you have to interact with them the way you do with other people.
You can set limits, but you have to do it consciously and proactively. If you let things flow naturally, you will most likely get caught up in difficult conversations. Setting boundaries and choosing when and where to interact with this difficult person can help control the chaos. The trick is to keep your limits up at all times.
6. You do not allow others to limit their happiness.
When your sense of joy and satisfaction comes from other people’s opinions, you lose control of your happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something they’ve done, they don’t let other people’s opinions take them away.
While it is impossible to switch off what you feel in the face of others’ opinions, you do not have to compare yourself and you can always see their point of view as a pinch of salt. That way, no matter how toxic people are or what they do, your worth comes from yourself. Aside from what people think, one thing is certain: you are never as good or as bad as they say.
7. Focus on solutions, not problems
Your concentration determines your emotional state. As you focus more on the problems you are having, you create negative emotions and persistent stress. By focusing on improvement measures, you create a sense of personal effectiveness that evokes positive emotions and reduces stress.
When it comes to toxic people, it gives them power over you if you focus on how difficult they are. Stop thinking about how annoying a person is and focus on how you deal with it. This puts you in control and reduces the stress you feel when you interact with her.
8. You forgive, but don’t forget
Emotionally intelligent people are quick to forgive, but they don’t forget. Forgiveness means letting go to move on, but it doesn’t make sure you won’t get hurt again. Smart people do not allow themselves to be leached by the mistakes of others, they let go of them quickly and confidently protect themselves from future attacks.
- To Learn More: 8 Toxic People You Must Remove From Your Life
9. You are not attached to self-criticism
Sometimes you absorb the negativity of others. And it’s not bad to be sad about how someone else is with you bypasses, but your internal conversation shouldn’t reinforce this negativity, but rather help you overcome it. Self-criticism is usually not as realistic or necessary as it can get you into a spiral that is difficult to get out of. Avoid that.
10. Avoid caffeine
Drinking caffeine creates adrenaline, the source of the “fight or flight” response we have as a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up to fight or run when you encounter a threat. This mechanism bypasses rational thinking and forces a faster response. This is perfect when a bear is chasing you, but less so when you run into an angry partner in the hallway.
11. Get enough sleep
I have struggled for years and cannot express the tremendous importance of sleep in increasing emotional intelligence and managing the level of stress.
When you sleep, your brain charges up, literally analyzing the memories of the day, and saving or throwing away those that do not serve it so that you wake up awake and clear-headed. Your self-control, attention, and memory will all be reduced when you don’t get enough sleepor when you are not sleeping well. Lack of sleep increases the stress hormone even when there are no stressors.
A good night’s sleep makes you a more positive, creative, and practical person when it comes to interacting with toxic people and gives you the perspective you need to deal with them effectively.
12. They depend on their family and friends
It is tempting, but completely ineffective, to try to do it all by yourself. In order to deal with toxic people, you need to recognize your weaknesseswhich means having a support system to have a better perspective on this troubled person. We all have a team, inside and outside the office, that supports us and is ready to help us in a difficult situation. Identify these people and get their opinion and help when you need them. Sometimes it’s so simple that it can lead to you having a new perspective on everything.