Once upon a time there was a donkey that was very hungry, but also very thirsty. Fortunately, it was placed between a pile of hay and a bucket of fresh water.
The problem started when the donkey couldn’t decide what to do first, it didn’t know whether to eat or drink first. He was paralyzed, didn’t know what to do, and couldn’t choose between the two options. He died of hunger (or thirst).
This paradox is known as “Buridán’s donkey” and explains this hypothetical concept between two decisions to be made.
Like the donkey, we also enter a kind of “analytical paralysis” in which we prefer not to make a choice until we are absolutely certain.
This situation is pretty common, we’ve all ever felt it uncertainty before a decision, especially if more people are involved in this decision or if it changes the course of our future.
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Very often these decisions bring with them some kind of fear: fear of regret, failure, or simply the unknown.
The good news is that our lives are full decisions, small and large, important and everyday, consciously and unconsciously.
Reminding ourselves that we are always making decisions takes some of the burden off fear and train your decision-making skills without paralyzing you. The best way to make decisions is to simply ask the right person: yourself.
Some of them were designed by Sussie More. an experienced coach on the subject. The aim is for you to answer each of the 11 questions honestly and in writing. When you’re done, you can get the best result for yourself while training your ability to make better decisions later.
1. How long have I thought about it?
Sometimes we get into decisions that are just not that important. One way to filter these decisions and reduce the stress that comes with them is to evaluate how long we’ve thought about them.
2. What do I feel when I think about this topic?
Fear or agony? Stress or anxiety ?; Remember that our choices have physiological and emotional consequences. Recognizing these sensations in a timely manner will help you determine whether or not you are on the right track.
3. Will this decision affect my life five years from now?
Visualize your life in a few years time and see if this decision will change your plans. If it really has an impact on the future, it is important that you do not take it lightly and thoroughly evaluate your thoughts and motives surrounding this decision with the remaining questions.
4. How committed am I to this change?
Important decisions lead to important changes, and often we are not as determined to deal with them. On this question, I advise you to rate your engagement on a scale from 1 to 5 (number 5 is the highest level of engagement).
5. What other options do I have?
When you lock yourself in a thought, you are blind to other options available around you. Only when you write down all of your options can you visualize more options clearly and then make better decisions.
When you have found more options for this crucial maze, it is time for you to weigh the pros and cons of each one. That way, you can only filter the options that suit you best and discard the rest.
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6. What is the worst that can happen if I don’t make this decision or if I make a mistake?
This question will help you face the fear. Sometimes things are not as serious as we imagine and the worst scenario becomes utterly unreal.
While at other times this question helps us increase the level of importance and keep our eyes open to decide the best we can. Remember that the stress It’s not a bad thing at all as it keeps your nervous system “on” and ready to act.
7. Is this the right time?
To answer this question, take a breath and focus on the present, look around and evaluate your life on that day.
If you think the time is right to make this decision, you will not regret it in the future. Answer honestly, especially because we often wait for the perfect moment for almost anything.
We hope the conditions are ideal to take the first step, but remember that the perfect moment does not exist and personal growth begins unless we are fully ready to take action.
8. If this is not the time, then when?
Be very objective and realistic with this question and try to give it a specific time and context. Answers like: “When I’m less stressed“Or”when I have less responsibility “You are not the best because the future will seem very blurry and you will only get more confused.
Answers like: “when I start my next project in 2017“Or “When my account is $ 1000”They are answers that give you perspective and decision.
9. Can a past experience help me?
Let your experience guide you to make the best decision and analyze the following: Have you made a similar decision before? How did you feel after this decision? Is there anything you could have done differently?
10. After making up my mind, how will I feel?
Without a doubt, this is one of the most important answers. Your happiness, health, and wellbeing must be a priority. If the consequences of your decision do not materialize, or even have negative results for your life, you should think a little more carefully.
Remember, decision making is not black and white. You just have to invest enough time to search deeply for the right answer.
I leave you one sentence to think about:
“Choosing one way means giving up on others. If you intend to go all possible routes, you will end up traveling none ”- Paulo Coelho