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Everyone we have failed in life and failure can be a devastating experience. The only thing that distinguishes successful people from others is the way they react after a failure.
At a glance Obstacles We have to decide whether to make it an excuse for our failure or whether to make it the story of our success.
If you adopt the right attitude, failure is an excellent teacher. Interrupt your routine and give it a chance discover new solutionsbut only if you have the right setting.
Psychologist Albert Bandura conducted a study showing the important role that our attitude to failure plays. In the study, two groups of people were asked to perform an identical administrative task. The first group was told that the purpose of this task was to measure their administrative skills. The other group was told that the skills needed to accomplish the task needed to be improved and that this was just an opportunity to practice and do them better and better. The trick was that the task was so complicated that everyone would most likely fail, and it did. The first group, who felt bad because their skills were not good enough, did nothing to improve when they had the opportunity to repeat the task. The second group, however, saw failure as a learning opportunity and did better and better each time they attempted the task. The second group even rated itself as safer than the first.
Like the participants in the Bandura study, we can see failure as an expression of our abilities or as growth opportunities. The next time you become obsessed with the self-compassion that often comes with failure, focus on what you can control: your attitude.
Some of the best lessons in life are often the hardest to accept with a good attitude. These are the ones that challenge your flexibility and willingness to learn. If we don’t use them soon, the lessons we learn are often the most difficult.
1. The first step is always the most difficult
If you want to accomplish something important, the first step is overwhelming, even terrifying. But if you dare to take this first step, fear and fear will dissolve in the name of the action. People who turn upside down in the first step are not necessarily stronger than the others. They just learned that it gives them excellent results. They know that starting pain is inevitable and that postponing only prolongs suffering.
2. The good takes time
Above all, success takes time and effort. The author Malcolm Gladwell suggests that mastering something, anything, takes 10,000 hours of practice. Many successful people would agree. Think Henry Ford, whose first two auto shops failed before Ford started at 45. or author Harry Bernstein, who devoted his entire life to writing before reaching one best seller at 96. When you finally succeed, you realize that the road was the best part.
3. Being busy doesn’t mean being productive
Look around. Everyone seems to be busy running from one meeting to the next and sending emails. However, how many are actually productive and achieve something at a high level? Success does not come from movement and activity, but from concentration to ensure that your time is used efficiently and productively. They have the same number of hours a day as the rest of the world, so use them wisely. After all, you are a product of your results, not your efforts. Make sure your efforts are dedicated to tasks that pay off.
4. You always have less control than you want
There are too many stressful circumstances in life to control every outcome. However, you can control how you react to things that are beyond your control. Your reaction turns a mistake into a learning experience and ensures that success doesn’t inflate your ego too much. You can’t win every battle, but with the right attitude you can win the war.
5. You are only as good as the people you surround yourself with
Try to surround yourself with people who inspire you, people who make you do better. And you probably are. But what about the people who want to sink you? Why do you allow them to be part of your life? Anyone who makes you less valuable or less anxious or less inspired wastes your time and is likely to make you more similar. Life is too short to surround yourself with such people. Let them go.
6. Your biggest problems are mental
Almost all of our problems arise because we travel through time: we go into the past and regret what we have done, or we go into the future and are concerned about things that have not yet happened. It is very easy to get stuck in the past or project us into the future, but when you do this, you lose sight of what you can really control: the present.
7. Your self-esteem must come from within
If your feeling of joy and contentment comes from comparing yourself to others, you are not in control of your own destiny. If you feel good about something you’ve done, don’t let someone else’s opinion or accomplishments make you feel bad. While it is impossible to erase your reactions to what other people think, you don’t have to compare yourself to others and can always express your opinions drop by drop. In this way, your self-esteem comes from you, no matter what others think or do. Regardless of what people think at any given time, one thing is certain: they are never as good or as bad as they say you are.
8. Not everyone will support you
In fact, most won’t. Some people will overwhelm you with negativity, passive aggressive comments, anger or envy, but none of this matters because, like Dr. Seuss said, “Those who are important don’t care and those who care don’t matter.” We cannot have everyone’s support, and we definitely cannot use our time or energy to convince those who do not. Ignoring the opinions of those who don’t matter gives us more time and energy for people and things that matter.
9. Perfection doesn’t exist
Don’t perfect your goal because it doesn’t exist. People are inherently wrong. If perfection is your goal, you will always have an annoying feeling of failure that will cause you to give up or reduce your efforts. You will end up spending more time complaining about your failure and what you should have done differently instead of moving forward, motivated by what you have achieved and what you will achieve in the future.
10. Fear is the main source of regret
When all is said and done, you will regret the chances that you let go of your mistakes. Don’t be afraid to take risks. I often hear a lot of people asking, “What’s the worst thing that can happen? Could i kill you “However, death is not the worst thing that can happen to you. The worst thing would be to allow yourself to die internally while you are still alive.
In summary …
Successful people never stop learning. They learn from their mistakes and successes and change constantly to improve.